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[personal profile] subiteveneinorem
Some of you may hate me for writing this, but it has to be written.

I have noticed the twitter war that happened today, and though I usually stay away from this kind of stuff, I decided to understand what this is all about, all because the girl who runs the site is from Poland just like me. I thought I'd be able to get to her, or at least get to know her opinion since there would be no language barrier.

We had a chat (if you can call @-ing at each other a chat), and what I got out of it was pretty darn enlightening.

She cares greatly for her site, works hard to make it run smoothly, and also does English to Polish translations. All by herself, without any help. This site is her baby. She takes every single comment and every single tweet personally.

We all know she's a Huddy shipper, a huge one. We know she likes to show it any way she can, even if it may be insulting to people who are not intersted in her personal opinion.

Mind you, in every fandom and in every pairing there are people for whom what they believe in is practically sacrosanct. They can come out as a bit too obsessed, a bit too serious.

When you see such a person, stay away from them at all costs. Don't taunt them, don't call them names, DON'T ADD FUEL TO THE FIRE. You're just making things worse. Haters gonna hate. It's only a show.

And if you really, really feel like you should say something, act mature.

We may hate what she wrote about St Doris because she had no right to do that. But that doesn't give any other person the right to bash and hate on her, call her a bitch and several other quite "interesting" names. By doing that you show that you're just like her. And we can do better.

Everybody's entitled to an opinion, even her. The only thing she did wrong is that she hasn't as of yet realized that she has a lot of influence because of the popularity of her site, and by that, her Twitter account. It's not what she wrote that is wrong, it's how she's chosen to do this.

Feel free to express your opinion in the comments, but before you hit the 'post' button, think twice. Trust me, life's easier that way.

Posting here 'cause it got deleted after an hour on H/W comm. Oh well.

(no subject)

Date: 2010-05-13 10:58 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile]
Sorry, you know I love you and all, but I completely disagree with you in this matter.

She is sending hate tweets to Doris Egan, a House MD writer, from a HouseMDsite, as though this is the opinion of the entire fandom, as though the entire fandom hates the writers of the very same show they are huge fans of.

This girl may work her ass off for her site, but that does not change the fact that she is being hateful towards the people who make the show she supposedly loves instead of trying to create a constructive criticism (which I still think it should be made from a personal twitter profile, NOT a profile made with the purpose to be informative and keep up to date with a site). She's also extremely biased on her tweets about certain ships and certain storylines, and intolerant of many ships (especifically slash ones), all this with the very same entitlement of the name HouseMDsite.

I could care less if she would just tweet from that profile with her huddy buddies saying shit about hilson and luddy and DE, I would still think it's completely unprofessional, but I would have probably just rolled my eyes and moved on. But she is using the name HouseMDsite to go and bash Doris Egan, as though this is a very popular fan-opinion. Of course I'm gonna call her on her shit, and so will several other people.

It's probably completely useless because she seems like a very close-minded person to me, but maybe if enough people make the point to her that it is uncool to bash the House MD writers from a tweeter profile that is followed by thousands of fans and is supposed to be informative and represent a big part of the fandom, then maybe next time she will think twice before doing that kind of things.
If she wants to be a bitch, then she can get a new PERSONAL profile, I'd still have 0 respect for her, but I would just leave it alone.

Sorry if I came out a bit hostile while saying this, I just think it's important to understand that there is a point where you have to stop playing nice and pointing out the things that are just WRONG.
Hope you don't get mad at me for having a different opinion on the matter <3

(no subject)

Date: 2010-05-13 03:23 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile]
See, I could put up a huge "THIS SO MUCH" sign in fron of my house and still it wouldn't convey how much I agree with you.

I was writing this post for the [ profile] house_wilson comm, and I was trying to be as objective as possible, maybe that's why it looks quite bland.

I am aware that she shouldn't do that, and I told her so. I told her that as an admin of a popular fansite she should be as objestive as possible, and that she should keep her own opinions to herself and her own journals/Twitter/whatever it is that she should have, but doesn't. I told her that she is forcing her own opinion on other people by sending those hate tweets, promoting only Huddy stuff and forgetting about that part of the fandom that doesn't share her opinion. Thing is, I wasn't hating on her. There's constructive criticism, and there is pure wank. Calling each other names is not a solution. It's doing what she's doing. Hate creates hate.

She is very closed-minded, and I think that maybe more than a bit homophobic. She's one of those people that cannot be convinced to anything that doesn't fit her view, and even if something can be done, it'd take a lot of effort.

Do you think that bashing her would help in any way? Because in my opinion, that way she's introduced to the worst part of the rest of the fandom. She's not looking, so there's no way that she could experience all the good that the rest gives, she only sees the bad things, people calling her names and being as disrespectful as she is herself (though she would never admit that, maybe doesn't even realize what she's doing).

I am by no means protecting her, I'm as far from that as possible. Thing is, I have been experiencing similar thing for many, many years from people who thought that by being popular they were allowed to do everything they wanted to. I was bullied since I was five years old as I was a naturally smart kid with good grades and a bookworm, and I didn't want to adapt to their lifestyle. I had to endure stuff that even now makes me shiver. It wasn't until I was sixteen that I was finally free of that. These eleven years taught me that there are two ways of reducing the hate you experience: you either ignore the person who attacks you, or you make them stop by including into the conflict something or someone that has authority over that person. Responding in the same way that the offender does is the worst idea ever. Like I said, it just adds fuel to the fire.

Was she allowed to do what she did? No. Should she, a really biased person, use every mean possible to show what she thinks? No. Should she learn to separate fandom from her real life if it brings her only the bad things. YES.

Are other people allowed to do like she does only because she does that? FUCK NO. But they do that, and that's what makes me want to crawl into a corner and weep, because fandom was once a huge part of my life, helped me when I was depressed. Now I'm sometimes ashamed to call myself a Hilson, because a lot of people associate it with fans obsessed to the point of craziness. Just like the majority of non-Huddies see Huddy fans. But we get double beating because of the gay factor. And then there's wank in the ship itself, which just makes me cringe and turn the computer off.

I'm afraid I'm not a part of the fandom anymore. I still watch the show, read fic from time to time, participate in meta and discussion posts in other people's LJs. But I think I've lost the spark that got me running there. I'm sad that it happened. I'm just not that keen on re-living the worst part of my life in a place that I love. Loved.

(no subject)

Date: 2010-05-13 04:08 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile]
Oh I know that I was harsh and rude to her, probably because I wasn't even remotely planning on being friends or to be in good terms with someone so close-minded and I don't think she deserves my respect.

But fans hating on fans is a daily event, maybe it was harsh of me and the others to say things so rudely (even though I don't think there was other way to get the point across with that idiot), but things like that (fans hating on fans) aren't half as relevant as people hating on the few people involved on our show who dare come on the internet and try to connect with fans, huge disencouragement for them, especially with someone who has such self-entitlement of being a HouseMDsite, who (apparently falsely) claims to love and support the show.

Like I said before, playing nice is not always the best course of action, especially with such obviously close-minded people. Please check out her further douchebagginess. Sorry but I don't think this person deserves to be treated with niceness and respect, not as long as she's speaking with the name of HouseMDsite at least.

Glad that we at least agree on the fact that she was VERY WRONG in spreading her hate like that.


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