subiteveneinorem | 'Kay, I know you're just going to scroll down anyway...

... whatev, I gotta share.

I cane across the most BAMF movie I have seen since introducing myself to Star Trek. And when talking about fav action movies ever... well, this one's right next to Boondock Saints on my list. Why yes, I am talking about Hot Fuzz:

Here be the short story about how Lt. Commander Ji came across such awesomeness:

So a few days ago I was rummaging through dA, like I always do, and found this short comic. And then I stumbled across this awesometastic slashfic written by the director of this movie and two actors playing the roles of Angel and Danny.

The mind of a slasher, y'know. It reels. I thought, hey, if it's that good how come I haven't seen or hear of that before? So I fixed that the moment I could.

That was two days ago. By now I've watched this movie six times. And to celebrate that-- and to introduce you to (or remind you of it if you've already watched it) the epic tale of bromance and Cornettos-- I give you this picspam (now with more demented commentary):

Aaand we begin with... O HAI SCOTTY. (don't blame me, blame my inner Trekkie; I have watched STXI about twenty times by now)

BTW, damn, I love his accent. *flail*

So... say hello to Sarge Nicholas Angel. He's a police officer (not a policeman). And this is his Japanese Peace Lily. He loves it very much.

O HAI DANNY.

Danny is the very definition of cute. Example:

DANNY: Is it true that there is a place in a man's head that if you shoot it, it will blow up?

See?

Shakespeare just died. Again. Can't you see that?

(also, wallpaper on my laptop; cracks me up every time I turn it on/off or minimize/close all the windows)

BFFs.

...BFFs?

ANGEL: That was quite an impressive haul today, Constable Butterman.
DANNY: Well, you know, I mean, maybe we should do something to celebrate. Unless you gotta water your Peace Lily.
ANGEL: What exactly did you have in mind?
DANNY: I don't know. Pub?

Awwwwwwwe, a man-date :3 Movies need more of these. TV shows, too. (yes, I am looking at you, House MD producers)

And here comes my (and probably every slasher's) favourite sequence:

DANNY: Well, this is me.
ANGEL: Well, I shall see you in the morning.
DANNY: Unless you wanna come in for a cup of coffee?
ANGEL: I don't drink coffee.
DANNY: Tea?
ANGEL: No caffeine after midday.
DANNY: How about another beer?

Say WHAAAT???

Beer it is. Because they're manly men.

Oh, and then this happens:

ANGEL: You should get some house plants.
DANNY: Oh, yeah, yeah.
ANGEL: Yeah. I've been tending my Peace Lily for about three years now. It oxygenates the room, helps you think, relieves stress. Its needs are simple. Janine used to say I love my Lily more than I loved her.
DANNY: Is that why you split up?
ANGEL: What?
DANNY: 'Cause you did it with a plant? (A/N: *gigglesnort* ILU, Danny)
ANGEL: No, no, no. It was more about me being obsessed with the job.
DANNY: That's good though, right?
ANGEL: Is it though? I did miss a few dinners. You know, parties, a birthday or two.
DANNY: Listen, mate, I...
ANGEL: Her dad's funeral. I just wanna be good at what I do.
DANNY: You are good at what you do. You've just gotta learn to switch off that big old melon of yours.
ANGEL: That's the whole problem, Danny. I don't think I know how.
DANNY: I can show you how.

Ohpleasepleaseplease God, I've been a good girl lately, pleasepleaseplease...

DANNY: Point Break or Bad Boys II?

Oh.

Foreplay, Danny-style?

(BTW, I'd go with Bad Boys II; it's got this hi-larious scene in the electronics store-- or whatever they call it)

Why Danny, what's so fascinating out there?

OH.

(God, I'd love to have Danny as my BFF; we'd watch Boondock Saints together, do Die Hard, Lethal Weapon, Rush Hour and Bad Boys marathons and squee every time the main character says something nasty)

And then we get this:

D'awwwwwwww...

I mean, look at them!

DANNY: I can has a plushie?

ANGEL: Um, no. Me no likey them guns any moar.
DANNY: But... :C *puppy eyes*

ANGEL: *sigh* A'KAY.
DANNY: *squee* :D

Why yes, I am awesome.

Cuddly monkey :3

But as we all know, nothing can be rainbows and unicorns all the time:

:C :C :C

Nooo, cuddly monkey is wet :C

Awwwee... Sad, but... awwwwwe...

Time to fix things.

ANGEL: Thanks for the monkey.
DANNY: Yours, isn't it?
ANGEL: I won it for you.

*squee*

:,D

BFFs again.

Happy Birthday, Danny :3

(love the cake, but her boobs are a bit creepy)

Angel's not happy with Danny not telling him about his birthday, so he pops off to buy him... why yes, a Japanese Peace Lily.

MISS TILLER (florist): Is this for someone special?
ANGEL: Yes. Yes, it is.

*melts*

Mmm, Cornettos :3

But, but the plot...

It's here, and it decides to screw it up again.

*refuses to comment upon that*

And then:

Okay, I knew all along it was the ketchup trick. But damn, it still hurt as hell.

I know this scene was all SRS and stuff but I couldn't stop thinkng along the lines of "oh for f*cks sake, kiss him already and make up for all this shit you put him through!!!". Applies to both of them.

</3

Look anywhere else but not at the clerk-- OH.

WHY HELLO THERE.

Someone's decided it's time to close that freaky business.

And he does it so BAMFly:

See?

Also LOL guns=wings.

O_O

...

<3 <3 <3

ME: *dead*

And then it gets better and better:

Ready to boldly go?

My boys, I love thee :3

And now the cuteness:

GUY-WHOSE-RANK-I-CANNOT-REMEMBER: Come back to London. Sandford's hardly a fitting place for such an exceptional officer.
ANGEL: Yeah, well, the thing is, sir. *looks at Danny* I kind of like it here. Besides, we have to do a considerable amount of paperwork.

Paperwork could be a good euphemism...and probably is.

Yay fancy bright light :3

Reminds me of a fairytale of some sort.

But of course this is not a fairytale.

Danny, NO!!! :C

And then shit hits the fan.

Really hard.

Nuu, Danny-boy, don't die :C

:C

ONE YEAR LATER:

Why, nice garden you have there, Sarge. Reminds me of my grandma's farm.

Wha--? :C

Aw hell no. Danny, told you not to die.

(on a random note: I love this scene)

Oh. OH.

:,D

Bad boys 4 life, yo.

And because I feel generous today (and because it's 2:27am in the morning here in Poland), have some screencaps from the gag reel: